New lesson for School of Boss. My name is RIK ASSFALG, founder and initiator of the school of boss which is the portal to help you if you are an aspiring advanced entrepreneur or you want to be on to get all the information you need for the shortcut to your profitable success – personal and in business.
So today I want to talk about disappointments and misunderstandings in business but you can also transfer that lesson to personal life. Have you ever experienced the scenario that you have met somebody on a trade show or at a business meeting or when you present something to someone and the deal seems so close it was like; “wow that is what I want.” “That is totally what I envisioned and this is going to be maybe even my future partner or a potential investor.” Or whatever and you think the deal is really done. You think everything is under control until ha-ha you realize the further communication is kind of weak. People who you trusted in and you remembered them saying things and visualizing things together with you suddenly are not on the same page with you anymore. Does that sound familiar? And then you feel really like screwed almost. You feel like somebody betrayed you again probably and you in that victim role and everybody you know tries to steal from you and everybody’s not loyal, everybody’s not honest but stop right there, I can maybe help you.
I have been in business since 1996. I have been an entrepreneur since 1996 and believe me and trust me when I tell you these are not my first rodeos. I have seen a lot, I have experienced a lot. I’ve been enthusiastically been hyped a lot, fooled a lot, tricked a lot but also successful a lot. So what I wanted to give you today and share with you is one tool that I think can be very valuable for you if you want to avoid the pre-described situation in the future when you’re talking to potential customers, suppliers, and business partners, whatever or in personal life – friends.
So why is that that if 2 people or 3 people or 4 people or hundred people join the same scenario, the same conversation, they would all agree on one thing and turn around and you interview them separately, why is it that almost everybody has understood things individual, subjective, different way? Are all crazy? Does nobody play with ethics, moral and truthful anymore? No. The reason is much simpler and human psychology can help us out here. Only 7% of the spoken word and that’s a scientific fact that science proves this that only 7% max of the spoken word is responsible for conversations, for communication. 7%. That’s almost nothing compared to the 93% that happen on a different level, that happen on a body language, eye contact level.
As individual as the people who joined the meeting or joined the conversation or joined the communication or joined the deal meeting are as individual are things they hear. And they perceive as the truth as the spoken word. And that’s a crazy fact because the spoken word is only 7%. You can see what the 93% other than the spoken word really can affect, really can make out of a pre-spoken, pre-defined, agreed on deal. The problem is misunderstandings, misinterpretations and not on an intentional, bad behavioral level. Know the opposite. People are people, we are not robots. We’re not machines, we are people. We’re human with our own thoughts, our own interpretations and we hear, see, smell, feel, and think during a communication, during a conversation. And that all goes into the 93 other percent than the spoken word.
So why is it that people turn around from a meeting and have different opinions on how the meeting went, what the key points were, et cetera? And it’s easy to understand if you know that it’s very understandable. Everybody can’t be on the same page because we have different synopsis, different brain and neuro functional processes working in our own minds, in our own interpretations of what has been spoken and agreed on and we cannot influence that. This is a stronger part as we are. So here comes my tool because I don’t want to make this a very long session. You just remember 2 things – number 1, not everybody is bad, number 2, the spoken word comes for a maximum of 7% of the communication. There’s 93% different levels that we hear, perceive and interpret things. So here comes the tool to avoid misunderstandings, to avoid deal breakers, to avoid fights and bad words and bad karma. Do one simple thing and after we spoke I think you can almost guess what I’m giving you as a tool here. Make at the end of every meeting a clear, quick, informal but clear and dedicated, quick summary of the meeting and have every party sign on it. If you can’t do it on paper, if it’s on Skype or something then email it in between each other and say; “listen, these are my key points that I have taken from this meeting. Do you have something to add or are you agreeing on it?” Alright? That’s number one. That’s the biggest tool that can avoid big trouble for you in the future and can make you so much more productive, so less stressed and so much more liable with your clients and with your suppliers and with your friends and with everybody.
Be on a clear page with everybody. Don’t leave room for too much interpretation. Say what you want. Say what you don’t want and then see it somewhere. My big slogan is; don’t tell me, show me. And I mean that. And the same goes for me. I don’t want to tell people all the stuff, I don’t want to claim and brag with things all the time. Of course that’s part of the game, we do it all the time because we are human. So we like to be perceived in a way or another that we think we are reflected best with. Keyword here is BRANDING. A brand is nothing else but a message for an emotion that we can trigger and trigger on again and again. That’s what we want to do. We want to create emotion and feelings in somebody so they know once they have a problem or something, we can solve it with a brand. That’s really what a good functioning brand is. To resolve a problem and our name is associated with that. So for that, we need to promote with ourselves. We need to tell our good stories about that. We need to brag and quote about the things that we do. But in a deal, it’s very important if it’s about money, you should love your money enough – your hard earned or easy earned, your resources. You should love them enough. You should dedicate enough attention, love and care for your resources that you are clear on deals. Because in the end you will pay a lot more if you’re not clear on it because if things leave room for interpretation, it’s not a good idea.
So do the summary, have every party add their thoughts so you can see if there’s a misunderstanding right away and you would be surprised how different people see it after you summarized things up in a quick list, then have the people responsible. Make them responsible for it. Make people responsible. Have them take responsibility for what you agreed on, have them sign the paper or have them email back with “yes, confirmed” or something then important, this is a bonus information for that tool, make clear points. Make clear deadlines don’t leave room for wishy washy deadlines. Make a clear deadline and also define the consequences if the deadline is not met. Make a clear commitment from your side and from the other party’s side.
What happens if we don’t fulfill what we agreed on? What is plan B? What is the refund we can get? What is the thing we have to deliver if we don’t deliver on the agreed on because another slogan is and that is you should remember it also and you can note that down if you want. The first one was, don’t tell me, show me. And the second one is know what you want and know what you don’t want. That’s very important.
And I give you a third one, not to overwhelm you here but that’s the last one I give you for today. The third very critical success factor in this is do what you said you do when you said you would do it. Do what you said you’re going to do when you said you do it. So if you agree on something, then perform. Do it. And you know in the next lessons we can talk about super achievers and super success then on this we can even plugin another tool but that’s too much for this session but to foreshadow you on what we are going to talk later and deeper on the program is how you can over deliver to people and people would assume you’re a superstar and they just want you to be their only one to fulfill their dreams and slide your credit card and throw those credit card after you.
So this is it for today. Be clear. Be specific and don’t be the victim when it’s about meetings that you go out right and you think you know it all or you have it all and things turn out very differently. Don’t leave room for misinterpretation, don’t leave room for misunderstandings. Be clear. Define what you want, what you don’t want. Define a consequence what happens if you or they don’t deliver and be very specific with the things you so and then, go out and do what you said you’re going to do when you said you will do it. That’s it for today folks. With much love, karma fucks best. This is the School of Boss. My name is RIK ASSFALG. Talk to you very soon.